18 March, 2008

Looks Can Deceive You...


I know there’s no such thing as a perfect human being. We all have our flaws and different characteristics that make us unique. Yet we all have this image of the ‘perfect mate’ in our minds.

Not too long ago I ran into a couple guys that I haven’t seen in awhile at the mall. We decide to do a little catching up while we ate at the food court. Out of nowhere (really just being nosy), I asked them to describe the ‘perfect mate’. The loudest of the two states with a smirk on his face, “She has to be cute, with a fat ass, and nice feet. She definitely gotta have her own money, ‘cause I refuse to be any bitch’s trick. And no kids.” They started giggling and talking amongst themselves. Then I had to ask, “What about other than the physical?” I thought no one heard me because it got a little quiet and they were just looking at me. Just as I was about to repeat the question, the other guy spoke up. “She has to be intelligent and have ambition. I can’t stand a lazy person.” I couldn’t argue with that, so I left it alone.
Later on that day, I was telling a friend of mine about my day. Then I couldn’t help but to ask her the same question, and she gave me a similar answer. “He gotta have a job, a nice car won’t hurt, and a bbiigg d*ck. Oh and no kids. But if he does have kids, no baby momma drama. He definitely has to be cute. But if he’s flyy, I might look past that, a little. Around 6 feet and nice brown complexion.”

I know that physical attraction is very important in a relationship. It’s what catches your eye in the first place, and if well maintained, it will keep your interest. But what ever happened to personality traits? What about how someone carries or themselves, their goals, or their way of living?
She can have a fat ass, but what if her hygiene isn’t up to par?
He can have a big dick, but what if he doesn’t know what to do with it?

Personally I need mental and physical stimulation. My mate has to be able to challenge my mind and look good doing it. His up bringing is also very important, and so are other characteristic and behavioral traits.

We’re never going to find exactly what we pictured in our mind as the ‘perfect mate’. Some things are hard to look past and some things can easily be fixed with the right influence.

Due to the fact that there is no such thing as that perfect person. With out settling for less, what would/did you look pass in a mate?


9 comments:

Anonymous,  18 March, 2008  

I think I have the perfect mate.

karrie b. 19 March, 2008  

wow, really? (@ ur friends) i dunno...his personality has to be dope, then i can get picky abt looks...

-karrie b.

Torrance Stephens bka All-Mi-T 19 March, 2008  

yep, people look at me and see other, they dont see scholar, scientist and a man that write and read music, writes books and speak 4 languages

Don 19 March, 2008  

The things your friend spoke are the same things I have spoken in the past. Now that I am older I don't deal with females who cannot stimulate me, mentally. There has to be intelligence. Cleanliness. And compassion.

Crys.C 19 March, 2008  

@Anonymous: Aww... (blushing)I think I have the perfect mate also.

@Karrie B: I feel u. A good personality is important.

@Torrance: Yup. People tend to just go off looks.

@Don: I figured in time their mentalities will change (hopefully).

Wordaholic 20 March, 2008  

I agree with Don. For me it is important that my mate can stimulate my mind. Looks r good to have but it is only the icing on the cake. Beauty is fleeting. I'd much rather raise intelligent children rather than shallow ones.

The Flyyest 22 March, 2008  

honestly yeah the look first catches my eye then ill get to know them...if they are lame then im like no....sex can be good no matter who it is.....well..lemme take that back...

i wont be with a guy jus cuz the sex is good cuz if i really like the person for who they are then the sex will be good no matter what....(your friend must still be young...lol)

but if i know someones personality that is straight up right for me...then the looks kinda jus get in where they fit it

Lou 22 March, 2008  

personality trumps all things except...well it's a pretty long list so I'll spare you...lol.

Crys.C 23 March, 2008  

@Wordaholic: You made a great point. That's why society go by looks first instead of whats inside, and the next generation needs to learn that.

@The Flyyest: I agree w/ you. Sex is great when there's a connection. My friends aren't young, their young minded, and that's a sad thing.

@Lou: I'm kinda curious about what's on that list
(Thanks 4 stopping by).

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